poshxspice:

subject13fringe:

montypythonandtheholyblog:

today I learned that if you want to slash someone’s tires, don’t slash all four; only slash three because if you slash all four their insurance will pay for it but if you only slash three they have to pay for it all out of pocket 

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today on satan makes a blog post

(via heliolisk)

pissass:

jyostar:

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Just Let Him In.

(via galaxys4)

benigoat:

Trying to sleep in summer with the covers on

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(via i-suck-dick)

cockringtoss:

hearing teachers swear keeps me young

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

hate:

how do people murder people when i cant even ask workers in stores for help without getting nervous

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

officialunitedstates:

you’re brushing your teeth when suddenly your mint toothpaste tastes like eggs. do you

a)  power through and continue brushing
b)  wash your mouth out
c)  go to your fridge and get out the eggs and bite one to see if it tastes minty

(via i-suck-dick)

    teacher: do u understand what ur supposed to be doing
    me: yeh
    friend: what r we supposed to be doin
    me: lol idk

weavemunchers:

if you hold an empty gatorade bottle up to your ear you can hear the sports

(via perks-of-being-chinese)